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毒吐く Dokuhaku

Spitting Poison

song by Aoki Gou feat. KAFU

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Lyrics: ここんとこずっと満たされない 依然、創作も振るわない ここが居場所なんて信じない 朝はまだ来ない 綴る言葉は毒になれども薬にはならない 「続ける意味がない」 過らなかった日はない 流行りの音楽が聴けない 比べて卑下してが止まない 「多分、僕はもう音楽が好きじゃない」 それを吐き出す術は音楽しか知らない I’ve been unfulfilled for so long these days I still can’t get my creativity going I don’t believe that this is where I belong The morning still hasn’t come Though the words I write out may turn to poison, they won’t become medicine “There’s no point in going on any further” There’s no day that hasn’t passed I can’t listen to any popular music I can’t stop with the comparisons and self-deprecation “Maybe I just don’t like music anymore” But I don’t know of any way to spit that out but through music だから またこうして歌に縋って愚かな”毒”を吐いた 月夜の下、尚更無様だ どんな言葉を歌ったらこんな僕とさよならできんだ 答えが出るまで止まぬ独白 And so, Just like this, relying on music once again, I spat out my stupid “poison” Under the moonlit sky, it just gets all the more uglier What kind of words do I have to sing until I can say goodbye to this kind of me? This is a monologue that won’t stop until I get an answer 悩みに贅沢もクソもない 当事者以外知り得ない傷の痛みに優劣はない 暗示は絶え間ない 日陰じゃ涙は乾かない 涙じゃ花なんて芽吹かない 「明かりの射さない人生に価値はない」 そんなのは信じない 信じていいわけない There isn't an ounce of luxury in my worries In the wounds only known by those involved, nobody’s pain is worse than another’s They just don’t ever quit with that suggestion Tears don’t dry up in the sunlight Tears don’t make flowers bud “There’s no value in a life the light doesn’t shine on” I don’t believe that sort of thing There’s no way I can believe it だけど 僕が歌った歌でくらいは主役で在りたかった スポットライトは誘蛾灯でいいから かつて純粋を極めた僕は焦燥の餌になった 綺麗な言葉も今や吐瀉物 But still, I wanted to be the star, at least in the songs I sang I don’t care if my spotlight is just some light trap I once was the purest of all, but that old self now feeds my impatience And now, I even expel beautiful words 時に創作は自傷行為 と同時に自分を定義するただ一つの武器 諸刃の剣でこれを書いてる 「まだだ、まだだ」って息も絶え絶え At times, creation can be an act of self-harm Though at the same time, it is the sole weapon that defines who you are I’m writing this song with a double-edged sword “I’m not done yet, I’m not done yet,” I say with my breath growing more and more faint なのに またこうして傷を抉って恥ずべき自分を吐いた それが僕の価値になるのなら どんな醜態晒しても歌い続けるほかないんだろうな これは死ぬまで続く束縛 And yet, Just like this, I gouged my scars out once again and spat out my own shameful self If that were to be my value I guess I have no choice but to keep singing, no matter how much of my shame shows These are the shackles that will keep me bound until my death 答えが出るまで止まぬ独白 This is a monologue that won’t stop until I get an answer これを聴いてくれたあなたが まだ純粋なあなたが 僕みたいにならぬようにと願って止まない I can’t stop wishing that you, who listened to this song You, who are still so pure Don’t ever end up like me

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