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僕が死のうと思ったのは Boku ga Shinou to Omotta no wa

The Reason Why I Thought About Dying

song by Mika Nakashima

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Lyrics: 僕が死のうと思ったのは　ウミネコが桟橋で鳴いたから 波の随意に浮かんで消える　過去も啄ばんで飛んでいけ 僕が死のうと思ったのは　誕生日に杏の花が咲いたから その木漏れ日でうたた寝したら　虫の死骸と土になれるかな The reason why I thought about dying, was because the seagulls cried along the pier Drifting in and out of sight at the mercy of the waves, they peck at my past and fly away The reason why I thought about dying, was because the apricot blossoms opened on my birthday If I dozed off in the light peeking through its leaves, I wonder if I could be like all the dead insects and return to the soil 薄荷飴　漁港の灯台　錆びたアーチ橋　捨てた自転車 木造の駅のストーブの前で　どこにも旅立てない心 今日はまるで昨日みたいだ　明日を変えるなら今日を変えなきゃ 分かってる　分かってる　けれど Mint candy, the lighthouse at the harbor, the rusted bridge, a thrown-out bicycle Standing before the stove at a wooden train station is my heart, unable to depart from here Today’s not looking any different from yesterday. If I want to change my tomorrow, I have to change my today I know that, I know that, but… 僕が死のうと思ったのは　心が空っぽになったから 満たされないと泣いているのは　きっと満たされたいと願うから The reason why I thought about dying, was because I felt my heart turn hollow And the reason why I cry that I can’t be fulfilled, must be because fulfillment is what I wish for 僕が死のうと思ったのは　靴紐が解けたから 結びなおすのは苦手なんだよ　人との繋がりもまた然り 僕が死のうと思ったのは　少年が僕を見つめていたから ベッドの上で土下座してるよ　あの日の僕にごめんなさいと The reason why I thought about dying, was because my shoelaces came undone I’m no good at tying them back together, just like my ties with other people The reason why I thought about dying, was because a boy kept staring at me Now I’m kneeling on my bed, apologizing to the person I used to be パソコンの薄明かり　上階の部屋の生活音 インターフォンのチャイムの音　耳を塞ぐ鳥かごの少年 見えない敵と戦ってる　六畳一間のドンキホーテ ゴールはどうせ醜いものさ The dim light of my computer, the everyday sounds from the room above The boy in the birdcage covers his ears from the doorbell’s ringing I’m up against an invisible enemy, a Don Quixote in a one-room apartment What awaits me at the finish line will be hideous anyway 僕が死のうと思ったのは　冷たい人と言われたから 愛されたいと泣いているのは　人の温もりを知ってしまったから The reason why I thought about dying, was because I was told I’m a cold-hearted person And the reason why I cry about wanting to be loved, is because I’ve discovered the warmth of another 僕が死のうと思ったのは　あなたが綺麗に笑うから 死ぬことばかり考えてしまうのは　きっと生きる事に真面目すぎるから The reason why I thought about dying, was because you smile so beautifully And the reason why dying is all that’s on my mind, must be because I take living too seriously 僕が死のうと思ったのは　まだあなたに出会ってなかったから あなたのような人が生まれた　世界を少し好きになったよ The reason why I thought about dying, was because I hadn’t met you yet Since people like you have come into this world, I’ve come to like just a little more あなたのような人が生きてる　世界に少し期待するよ Since people like you are living in this world, I still have a little hope left for it